Change is constantly taking place in our lives. Some change is not our choice, yet we are required to adapt to it. Today I’m talking about the change we choose, but these principles also apply to change that’s been thrust upon us. Change will almost always involve some discomfort. But discomfort can be useful.

Once we have decided it’s time for change, we want that change to be effective and lasting. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves. We may feel we need a sudden, big shift. A great leap! And with a big push, we may indeed fly into something entirely new and surprising. But if we’re not fully ready for those high heights, our flight will be short and we’ll hit the ground. Hard.

Small, conscious actions seem to be a more effective and sustainable approach to change. It’s a bit unsexy, but taking small steps, in the right direction, can lead you to a profoundly different experience of life. One that goes well beyond the one area of change you initially set out to make.

Some ways you can support your own sustainable change:

  1. Accept and work with your emotions
    Feeling irritable or dissatisfied with our current situation signals to us that we want things to be different. Lean into dissatisfaction – this is the energy of change. It helps propel you to take the next step. Rather than getting caught on the dissatisfaction itself, consider where is it taking you – what would you rather be doing?

  2. Catch pressure and create space
    When you’re working towards change, sometimes you do need to give yourself a little nudge forward to move into flow. But there’s a difference between the little nudge and the big, pressured push; the one where you’re expecting too much. Placing excessive pressure on yourself creates overwhelm and resistance, which brings change to a halt. You’ll be saying things like: “I have to…” or “I should be…” or “It’s too much…”

    In that moment, please stop. Take a deep breath. This action is a simple circuit breaker for stress; it creates a literal space within your body and calms your nervous system. This is your change and you have choice. You could keep pushing, fatigued and inefficient. Or, after taking a  short break to calm and reset your energy, you could return with a clearer mind. You can then check whether your expectations are realistic; adjust if needed, and then determine your next small step.

  1. Soften setbacks with curiosity and kindness
    Shame over past mistakes and fear of making more limits our willingness to try new things. Life is an experiment – it involves cause and effect. It’s helpful to look at change with curiosity. Our choices lead to outcomes – some work for us and some do not. You will make mistakes. They are not comfortable, but they are helpful. Setbacks give us informed steps forward, as they show what we don’t want. Shame has no place in this process; it stops us sharing our experiences and seeking help. Kindness and playfulness, however, can support forward motion. I know a teacher who does a dance every time she or a student makes a mistake, to celebrate that they tried something new, and are therefore learning. I love this approach!
  1. Create and accept support:
    Create structures for yourself that make change easier. Forming habits and documenting processes helps you to be consistent, without relying on your memory, or having to make so many individual decisions. Store these structures outside your mind to give yourself the best chance of using them. This also allows you to refine them over time.

    Accept external support – ask for help from your connections: The ones who cheer you on, those with experience, the ones who know something you don’t. Please let go of the belief that you “should” do it all yourself. It’s inefficient and unreasonable to expect you to know how to do everything. Connecting with cheerleaders and experts lessens the pressure, creates ease and allows you to enjoy the process.

Sustainable change is a relatively quiet pursuit made up of many small steps. It is based on a stable foundation, less pressure and more realistic expectations; it sees setbacks as learnings and enables you to deepen connections. When we approach change with a sense of curiosity, we see each small step as part of the bigger picture. We anticipate the outcome while living in the present, engaged in life.

One stitch at a time, with presence and patience, will weave an entire tapestry. When you take the time to look back, you’ll be both surprised and deeply satisfied at the masterpiece you created with all those small steps.

If you’d like support to create your own sustainable change, I’m here to help. Feel free to book a kinesiology balance with me.