Calm during Chaos

Stress. We all have at least a little bit. Sometimes we have more than we know what do to with, for long periods of time.

In the last 18 months, there have been times where I have felt completely out of my depth. I have experienced some incredibly steep learning curves, made mistakes, needed to adjust, let go of blame and shame multiple times and then made some more adjustments. And – it’s still a work in progress.

I caught up with a friend the other day for the first time in about a year. As we said goodbye, my friend commented: “I cannot believe what you’ve dealt with and yet how calm you are.” Which got me thinking. I don’t know that I’ve had this level of prolonged stress before. Yet, I feel reasonably balanced, most of the time. Very different to a younger version of me.

So, I wanted to share three things that have made a difference. They may seem obvious – unless you’re in a state of stress and overwhelm!

1. Reach out for help

   I could not have possibly managed to keep my personal and professional life functional, without a significant investment in professional support and guidance, as well as the support of loved ones. I believe we all need a team of supporters: “Paid friends” or professional supports, along with friends and family. Supports are those people who are on our side and will call things out with compassion and honesty, when we need to hear them.

2. Consistent self-care builds resilience

   Stress can lead us to crave sugar (thank you adrenals), eat more junk food and self-medicate. These are well known, short-term, normal coping mechanisms. Consistent self-care on the other hand, is a long-term resilience builder.

   During periods of high stress, our self-care can drop off as we feel our focus needs to be on managing the cause of our stress. But this is when we need self-care the most. We can’t directly control the source of our stress, otherwise we would simply remove it! It’s that lack of control that leads us to feel so wound up and needing something to hold on to! These are the times to bring our focus to what we can do, rather than try to control the things we can’t.

   We can take steps to look after ourselves. We can choose practices that help us to feel calm – in my case getting into nature, practicing yoga, meditation and gratitude. I don’t do all of these things every day, but I do at least one per day.

3. Create space to reset

   A brain in stress has a reduced capacity for reason and logic. Tasks you normally find easy can become difficult to focus on or complete. It’s like the difference between floating along a gentle current and trying to wade through thick mud. If this is real for you right now, rather than pushing through whatever it is you’re struggling with, you’d benefit from taking a break. Even if you believe you don’t have time, a short 5-10 minute reset can do wonders.

   Sometimes you need a break from your life – a few days to reset and refuel energetically. It is not an easy one to coordinate and it requires you to give yourself permission to create that space. It can be such a productive act: the gift of time.

   In day to day life, I regularly create space to reset with Yoga Nidra. Also known as Non-Sleep Deep Rest, this practice is done lying down. Research shows its benefits are far-reaching to calm the nervous system and positively influence our entire physiology. And the effects are cumulative: The more you practice, the more benefit you get.

These three steps have made a significant difference to how I feel and function, even during times of high stress. I don’t just cope. I make choices that allow me to maintain a level of physical, mental and emotional balance. I put my wellbeing first, which means I can show up for others. Rather than getting caught in a loop of frustration and guilt for time “wasted” or things I haven’t achieved, I am so grateful to have and use these resources to help me maintain a creative approach to challenges, to keep learning and growing.

If you could benefit from some support to reduce stress as well as move through life’s stresses with more calm and ease, you’re most welcome to book a kinesiology balance.